Nearly two weeks ago I had a minor heart attack. I was on a walk with my family and was struck with chest pain, then it felt like I was punched in the heart from inside my body. It took my breath away. My whole body went numb, I felt like I was made of tingly Jell-O. I was having trouble breathing and I sat on a rock wall along the sidewalk. My wife says I looked panicked. After a few minutes I was able to get back on my feet and finish the walk home, feeling numb and like I was going to vomit the whole way.
I didn't go to the hospital, but the next day my wife made me go to the doctor. Since then I've had blood panels and a stress test. In the last six weeks I've taken measures to change my diet, but the last six weeks have also carried an unparalleled stress. I can't air out that stress at this point, but one day when it's all resolved I will, and I know already it will be a sort of exorcism.
The heart attack was a minor one, and I doubt that my life was in danger. I don't remember feeling like I was going to die. I've written here years ago about choking on a bagel and not being able to breathe and accepting that I was going to die, and this experience wasn't like that. This experience has been surreal in other ways and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.
August doesn't like me. This year it was heart attack, last year a severe concussion, and the year before a tumor on my back. 2012 in general's been gunning for me. I'm fighting for 2013 and always hoping for better.
I wish I had some cool publication news or something to follow this downer story, but I don't. But I do know it'll take more than a heart attack to kill me. News has been slow in general. I've had trouble getting too deep into new writing, still trying to push the Alaska collection and do something with my Alaska novel either finding a new agent or a publisher. ADP's got some cool stuff coming up soon, though, so stay tuned for that.
Also, I'm starting to make a push for more design work, I'd like to move into that full time work-wise, so if you know any publishers or others who need a badass designer give me a holler!